Carpe Diem

Only a fifth of a second before that you were a small kid with a ten-week summer vacation that lasted a hundred thousand years and still ended too soon.

For the first time in years I had a "summer vacation." It wasn't a kid's summer vacation, all carefree playing with friends--although I did occasionally complain about boredom. It wasn't a high-schooler's summer vacation, filled with working to save money during the day and hanging out with friends at night. It wasn't a college student's summer vacation, going back home to work or taking trips to far-off places.

It wasn't the vacation I would have chosen, either. It wasn't voluntary. It didn't mean fewer responsibilities. It meant more. I was still responsible for providing for my family, but without a job to do so. So after a few days spent enjoying temporary freedom and surveying the job-posting landscape, I started working hard at getting a job.

Even so, I did have free time during the day. I may not have made the best use of that time, but I certainly enjoyed the idea of having it.

But now, my "summer vacation" is over. On Monday, I start my new job. I'll be making more than I've ever made, and getting better benefits than before. That's nice; it's a good thing. But I will miss my summer vacation. I didn't want the forced unpaid vacation in the first place, and it stretched on way too long. But it's still ending too soon.

Today is my last day of "freedom" before I return to what gets called normal life. I want to use it well. Does that mean doing the good, practical things I can do? Finishing off a project that's best done on a warm day? Logging a few dozen miles on the bike? Doing that bit of "school shopping" I should take care of? Reading the last 700 pages of Alaska? Sleeping? Gardening? So many choices!

Choosing is going to be terribly difficult. Maybe, just maybe, I'll pick up the phone and say "Mom, I'm bored." Because that's way easier than choosing.

Yeah. Right. Like I want to be the bored, boring kid. I'm going to go get me a good answer on Monday for the "What I Did on [the last day of] My Summer Vacation" essay.